parents at conferences

We are finishing day two of parent teacher conferences. So far they've gone okay. There have been a few bumps along the way, but overall we're surviving. Now, we don't have children of our own, but I feel like I am learning a lot about parenting through these conferences. There are many parenting styles one could take:

1. The Brown Noser: This parent loves to suck up to the teacher. Parents that fit into this category make comments like, "Mrs. Meyer you are so beautiful." "Mr. Meyer, I like your new facial hair." "You are my child's favorite teacher." "Mrs. Meyer, here is a gift for you." "I want my student to be like you." Now many times these parents have great intentions and these comments are enjoyable, but every now and then these comments are made to gain grade favors. Thanks for the compliment, but your sweet talking gets you no where!

2. Identical Twins: Every now and then there are parents and students that look EXACTLY a like, like they could be twins. Parents like this are fun because it is easy to remember who their student is. It's always a bummer to meet parents but not remember who they belong to later on. Twins make it easier.

3. The Oblivious Parent: Parents in this category think their child is perfect but in actuality, they are not (who is, right?). If you are oblivious you may say things like, "My child studies all the time." or "My child works very hard." or "My child does not socialize too much. He/she is very focused." But what we see at school is a different story...a lack of effort, too much socializing, and/or a major lack of motivation. These are painful parents to deal with because if their perception of the student does not match yours it may lead to some awkward/intense moments. Parents in this category may be shocked by what the teacher says, may think the teacher is incompetent, and/or they may go on with a misconception of their child. On a rare occasion, the opposite may happen where an oblivious parent may think their child is not very successful, when they actually are quite bright.

4. The Shocked Parent: Parents in this category will say things like, "I had no idea!" or "My child never mentioned this to me!" "This is horrible. I just don't know what to do. This is not okay." This can be both in good/bad situations. Either way, there's been a communication breakdown between child and student. And the teacher must stand in the gap.

5. The Encourager: Parents in this category love their student no matter what. If told, "your child struggles to focus," they may just laugh and shake their head. If a student tries hard but they are not super successful, the encourager will be proud of their student just for trying. These parents are great to chat with because they are quick to love their child (and the teacher too) just for being themselves.

6. The Realist: This parent has a good grasp of who their student is and where they should be. They understand their child strengths and weaknesses, and they're a healthy mix of being okay with where their child is at but also pushing their child to be more.

7. The Angry Parent: This parent smiles at the teacher (sometimes) but then turns to their student and yells at them in Korean. As the conference goes on you see the student cower in their seat and you see the parents face get more and more red. Maybe it's for the better that we can't understand what the parent is saying to their child?

Many parents are a mixture of these categories. After being an observer of the parent world I think it would hard to be a parent. But if I had to guess, I think my parent style would be: mostly a realist/encourager with a dash of brown-noser.