saying goodbye

It has begun...The process of saying goodbye to the people we love is becoming a regular part of life these days.

Tom and I are super excited to move to Korea. We just really have God's peace in this and we know this is what he's calling us to do. All that to say, saying goodbye to America is still extremely difficult. Since we accepted our jobs in February I have not let myself think about the fact that moving to Korea means moving away from friends/family. My focus has been completely on where we are going and not on what we're leaving. Two weeks ago, however, I began to crack. Tom and I visited the Osborne's in Chicago. Right before we left I had to say goodbye to Mary Kate and reality began to creep in...I don't know when I'll see MK again! Tears began to well up in my eyes, but before I would let myself get weepy I decided I just wouldn't allow myself to think about leaving MK. And it worked. I just refused to think about leaving my best friend and I stopped the tears. Success!

This past week we were in Minnesota at Castaway (a beautiful Young Life property). We were adult guests for the week and got to see a lot of our friends who are serving the camp for the entire month. Carly Roach and Christie Reaves (two women I really love) were both there, and right before I had to say goodbye to them I felt really confident. "You know, when I left MK I was able to keep myself from really crying. I can do this! I can be strong! I can say goodbye...no problem!" However, this confident demeanor crumbled when I said goodbye to Carly. I don't even know if I spoke any words to Carly because I became a mess of tears. For the first time in this entire process it fully hit me...man, I am leaving my friends. This is hard. After Carly I pulled myself together and thought I was doing okay. We said goodbye to a few more folks and then we had to say our final goodbye's to Christie and Travis (my YL area director and his wife). At one point Christie said, "I can't imagine Jeff City without my Bonnie." And I just lost it. I was a weepy, weepy mess and I continued to be a weepy mess for the first 30 minutes of our drive home from Minnesota. Saying goodbye is messy.

In the midst of saying goodbye I have noticed a few things: First, I feel so blessed by the friendships I have with people. Leaving is hard only because the relationships we have here are so great. Second, crying is such a funny thing...how weird is it that when we get really emotional water comes out of our eyes? Third, I think it's okay to feel sad at times. What kind of person would I be if I didn't feel sad about leaving these relationships? And really its just a happy-sad feeling because its a sadness that comes from realizing how sweet and beautiful friendships are to us. And lastly, I trust these relationships that I have with people. I feel confident that the only thing that will change in relationships through this move is physical distance. The love will remain, the prayers will remain, the facebook creeping will remain...I really trust all of that.

Besides it's not really goodbye. It's more like (from the words of Desmond from LOST), "see you in another life brother."